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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Erin's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, November 22nd, 2007
9:39 am
I don't really have a lot of time. I just had the most rockinist dance party to the Spice Girls that beat anything I had in high school, so now I'm all sweaty. My place looks like a bunch of elves on coke came and decorated some shit and then left everything strewn about because they lacked the concentration to finish their job. Vince Guaraldi is playing in the background, the parade is on mute, and my tree is plugged in and casting 415 light twinkles across my room. And I decided to wish you a happy thanksgiving. May the memosas flow, may your house smell like an old fashioned home cooked meal, and may today kick off a truly fabulous holiday season with friends and family.

Current Mood: happy
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
7:31 am
Happy 4th of July bitches!!!!

My independence day will be spent at work. Yah...fuck that. I guess Starbucks' idea of freedom, is allowing us to wear jeans today. I'm so thankful....ugh.
Monday, April 23rd, 2007
4:01 pm
And the saga continues...

I just got a nasty ass email from my old landlord. He told me that I should already be out of the apartment due to our agreement and he wasn't aware of any change to it, so he was really upset. Then he told me that the garbage was taken out on Friday and I clogged it all up again. Funny since I didn't throw anything out. So I wrote him back and told him that the only change to the agreement was the changes he made with Kelly without notifying me. And that if he'd read my emails or listen to my voicemails, he'd know that I have been TRYING to give him my keys and be done with it all. And then I asked him if the garbage had been taken out on Friday, why was it full when I got there on Saturday? Mother fucker. So it looks like getting my money is going to be a huge fight. And Kelly still hasn't given my the check for PG&E, so it's looking like I might have to turn it off :) I don't like paying for somebody else's bills. Especially when they're treating me like shit. So if I don't get it by the 1st, it's being turned off.

Oh...and Luke never called. UGH! So I finally text him last night saying I didn't like being blown off. If he wants to fix it, we can, but if not then it can all be over with. And I haven't heard anything. What the hell is wrong with people?!

Then I called Starbucks just to make sure they have all of my information. Apparently, the doctor missed one question on a survey, so it's not completed. Grand.

Then Mom said that Grampa's totally about ready to die. I guess it's looking really bad. Every phone call she gets makes her almost puke because she doesn't want to have to hear that he passed away.

So it's funny. I keep saying life will get better, but it turns out that it's not. I just want to crawl into bed and keep the world away. I'm sick of fighting with Bradford over GARBAGE. It's ridiculous! I told him I was fed up and at a loss with what to do. Do I really need to get a lawyer involved just so I can get what I deserve?! I've done everything I can. I moved out, came back to clean, took care of everything. Him not giving me the money is him being a cheap ass bastard. I'm looking up renter's rights online, but it's tough. There's no section labeled "How to deal with cheap ass bastards." But there's no way he'd win. He doesn't have a leg to stand on. Even if he went through the garbage to try and prove that it was mine, he'd see that it wasn't! I haven't lived there for almost a month. How the hell would I have contributed to that? And I'm tired of having to run back and forth to the hospital because my doctor didn't fill in a box. I'm tired of Luke treating me like a piece of shit and not even having the decency to call me and tell me it's over. I'm tired of everything. And I'm tired of only writing negative things in this journal. But it's really hard to find good things to write about. Ugh. My mind is so jumbled and my stomach is so upset that I can't even focus. I'm over it.

Current Mood: crushed
Saturday, April 21st, 2007
6:11 pm
Blerg. I'm just hanging out. I'm a mess today. I went out last night and Blair kept feeding me shots of yummy things, which I definitely regretted today. I woke up at 10:30 when I set my alarm, and I was like, "Ugggghhhh." I would have been fine if I would have had some water. Plus, I haven't been able to keep any food in me this whole week. I've been so nervous/upset about things, and that's how I handle issues. And I knew that I had to go back to the old place and I figured that Kelly would be there and I REALLY just kind of wanted to ignore that whole thing. But I fell back asleep until a little after 1, and Deb was coming to get me with a car at 1:30, so I jumped (more of a gimp jump) up and put on some pants. That task took me about a half hour, so then I went downstairs to meet her.

We went to the old place and Kelly was there. She still couldn't give a shit. But because Deb was there, she didn't say anything about coming back to clean. But when Deb went down to throw out the trash, she said it was completely full. So I immediately pulled out my phone and called Bradford. He didn't pick up. Obviously. So I left him a message telling him that I wanted to throw out 2 bags of garbage and I would like for him to call me and tell him when he was going to take them to the curb to be emptied. God forbid I contribute to a traffic flow problem :) Then Kelly left and I felt a little better. And then Luke actually text me which shocked me. But more on that later.

So Kelly left and I realized she had never left me a check for the electricity bill. Arg. So I still have to get that. So I have to go and make another trip next weekend to throw out 2 bags of garbage. Because it would probably kill Kelly to throw them out for me. But I don't want to ask her for anything else in fear that she'll hold it against me with the cleaning issue. But I walked through that place, and it does NOT need cleaned. I went and ran the vacuum in my room again and 409'd the woodwork. It was fun keeping my one leg straight and trying to bend over. But I did it. I rock :) Then we left. And it was weird. I was standing by the door and I got an almost panicky feeling. There is such bad energy in that place that it was freaking me out. I know that sounds weird, but it felt awful. I wanted to run out, but I couldn't. Deb felt it to and she wanted out. I really just wish that whole thing was taken care of.

So last night was a big thing at Space. I text Luke to see if he was still going. He had told Chris he was going and he even was there when our friends were designing the poster for the event. Luke was like, "What's going on at Space?" ugh. See...I'm thinking that he might REALLY be this retarded. So we talked for a little bit, but he wasn't answering my question about Space. So I wrote "You're not going are you?" No answer. So before I left to go out, I called him and he didn't answer. So I left him a message and then signed off, "Call me soon. We need to talk." Eek. It sounded very scary evil girlfriend of me. But we need to talk! So there was really no other way of putting it. Then I went out and had a lot of fun. Misty and Ryan came out, so that was cool. But they left early which was sad. But they had a flight to Az today. I guess they didn't have to meet Matt and Blair, so that was probably best for them. We went to the Lush Lounge after Space, and they were playing all 80s music. It was pretty sweet. So Hoover left and Matt went to talk to a really old tranny and that left Blair and I. I'm gonna say it again. I don't know how I was so lucky to find a friend like him. It's CRAZY! He couldn't be more pure and genuine with me. He had made me go clothes shopping with him earlier in the day because he doesn't trust himself. I love him so much that I even kept my mouth shut when he jammed my broken knee. It's already broken...not much more damage he can do! So we talked about everything all night and had the best time. We decided he's going to break up with Aja and I'm going to do the same with Luke. He's copying me :)

But yah. I got a text from Luke asking me what I was doing. I told him I was at the old place finishing up some things and he writes back, "Please don't tell me you're cleaning!" I wanted to write back, "And please don't tell me you're pretending that you care." But I didn't. Then he asked if he could call me later tonight after he was done doing whatever stupid thing he was doing. So I said that I hoped he would. And he wrote back," Ok!! :)" Arg. I was actually shocked that he responded so close to my last voicemail. I figured in all honestly that I might not even hear from again because he's a big baby. Chris called me today to see if I had talked to him. Then Chris kind of went off. He was all, "Men can go and pick up a fucking truck, but if you ask them to talk about something, they can't." hahahahahaha. So true. But then in an unexpected turn of events, he said that in hindsight he realized he had done that and apologized. So nice! Better late than never I guess :)

But now I question if Luke is even going to call. I'm going with a big no on that. I just want to get the talk over with! Then maybe I'll be able to keep some food down! I really wish that I didn't react to stress this way, but there are a lot of worse ways I guess. At least the pizza I ate doesn't count!! :)

I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN! I want to have a for REAL dance party. Not an upper body dance party. I want to be able to WALK places again. I want to get a paycheck again. I want to be able to take a deep breath and feel relief. Not the urge to cry. And when people ask me how I'm doing, I want to HONESTLY answer "good." Not the lie that I keep saying. I just want to feel relief. But my apartment does look better now I stole my vacuum back from Kelly. She HID it so I couldn't take it. But it's not like she's actually going to use it! She confuses me.

Current Mood: annoyed
Monday, April 9th, 2007
6:04 pm
Well...it looks like I've got a long vacation in front of me. I went to work today to do the ADMIN, and I spent a lot of time on the phone with Seattle talking about my options at work. I obviously can't be on the floor at all for awhile. So now, I'm apparently on short term disability. Arg. Very annoying. As of tomorrow morning, my auto-pay is being cut off. They're sending me a bunch of papers that I have to fill out and hopefully I'll be approved for it all. I'll get 66.34% of my normal income. Lame. But at least it's something. Because get this. I went to the orthopedic surgeon today to get it checked out. The good news is, I had a clean break. And all the tissue is still in place, meaning it can heal without surgery. So thank god for that. But when I asked when I could return to work, she said 6 - 8 weeks. Jesus Christ. That's ridiculous. I mean, I know it makes sense since the job is 100% physical...but still. 2 months?! And the thing is, the 8 weeks will take me up to when I go to Arizona. So I won't be going back until June! I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. The money is going to suck. I just bought a couch, my rent has gone up to more than what I'll be bringing in, and that doesn't even consider utilities. I'm fucked. But luckily, I have a family that I can fall back on. I'm not planning on it, but I really realized how fortunate I am to know 100% that I won't be homeless. But it's still stressful.

So yah - that's what's going on. Apparently, Luke thinks it's all fucking hilarious. Jackass. He finally heard about my leg and laughed. I told him I was going to take one of my crutches and kick his ass with it. I know that we joke around a lot, but hopefully when he gets back, we can start on a different foot. Having this time away from him has really made me see what I want from the relationship. I'm really tired of building the walls against him and pretending that I don't need him. That's what going to SUCK with my knee being blown out. I hate relying on people, but I'm going to have to. How am I going to get groceries? Do my laundry? Nothing! I can't do anything without help. I really love my independence, and this is going to suck. I never want to seem weak - but whatever I guess. I'm going to transfer that over to the relationship too. And I don't want to hear any shit from him. :)

So not that anyone cares, but all of my postings in the past months have been for friends eyes only. So if you actually want to read all about my boring life, make sure you're on my friends list. Then you can get a look into all my ramblings :) Peace out...And write me if you want. I'll be here for about 2 months....so...yah.

Current Mood: aggravated
Friday, April 6th, 2007
11:36 pm
You'll have to excuse this entry, as I am on heavy pain medication. Tonight, my clumsiness has finally caught up to me. I was outside my apartment on my phone. I was feeling ok. I had my hair teased into a pretty kick ass ponytail. I was actually wearing a DRESS (hot pink no less) and I was getting ready to go out for the evening. I stood up to walk into my apartment, when I wiped out. Like...WIPED out. I had just purchased a pair of shiny black flats from Payless a few hours earlier. Well...the soles of these shoes blow. They're VERY slippery. Slippery enough to send someone flying on their ass. Hard. And I guess I shouldn't really say ass. I fell onto my knee cap. A few people saw me, so I jumped up and was like, "I'm totally ok. Didn't hurt at all." Then I quickly let myself into my building. I don't really remember the walk to the stairs, or climbing them. I do remember finally getting to my door and standing there thinking, "There's no way I can take another step." But I did. I guess. Then I got pissed because it really hurt, and I had about 3 different groups of long-lost friends to meet at one of my favorite bars in a bout an hour. So I quickly decided I wouldn't be wearing my new shoes out for the evening since they were apparently, very dangerous. Then I hobbled over to my closet, and this sound of pain came flying out of my mouth. There was no control over it. It was weird. Then, the sounds kept coming. And then the uncontrollable tears started. So I called Kristine and told her if the pain continued, I wouldn't be going out. But I really wanted to go, so I was going to go get ready and pretend it wasn't happening. That didn't work. So I text Blair that I'd have to meet him another time because I thought I might have broken my leg. So he calls and screams that he has to take me to the hospital. No. Blair doesn't need to be there for me AGAIN. One of my new year's resolutions was to stop relying so much on him. So through my tears and fake laughter, I told him I was fine. Then I called Deb and told her to get over here immediately.

So I hung out in the ER tonight. It was cool. Lot's of wheelchair rolling, x-rays, and my denial that I had done anything more than bruise myself. But guess what? I broke my fucking knee. What the hell. But I didn't shatter anything and all my ligaments are a-ok, so no surgery. But still. How the hell am I supposed to work? I guess the answer is that I'm not. I got my shift covered for tomorrow, but I'll be in on Monday. It's admin all day, so I can do that. But after that, it looks like I'll be taking an extended vacation. What the fuck. Seriously? I'm trying to figure out where all this bad karma has been coming from for me. I can't think of anything. I've been a pretty nice person. So I guess I'll just chalk it up to being a dumbass. And all I want is a big Luke Hug. Too bad he's fucking in England. Whoa...ok. No more feeling bad for myself. I'm just gonna lie back and let the drugs do their work. And tomorrow, I'll hang out, take more drugs, and enjoy Blair's company. I could keep him away from the ER, but I apparently cannot keep him from my apartment tomorrow. Shit. I guess that means I'll have to put on pants. Lame. Ok...peace out.

Current Mood: pissed off
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
8:37 pm
I'm so over packing that I looked at my computer and it's desk and thought to myself, "Gee. If I owned a laptop, I wouldn't need to lug that on Sunday." So now I'm $700 poorer. But about 30 pounds lighter :) Oh well...I really needed one. I've had this computer since college and it's been without a virus protection since the 2nd month I've had it. So you can imagine how awesome it is. I need a new tv too. Actually...I want a new tv. I want a fancy flat screen. But I want that...I needed a new computer. So whatever. Let's just hope it doesn't suck balls.

I was right on the Luke thing. What an ass! Which is exactly what I told him. I understand he's stressed about going to England, but jesus. He calmed down a little bit, but not much. Yesterday he asked if I was excited that he was going to be gone for 2 weeks. I said maybe. He better not turn out to be a mood asshole. I do realize his mood was tame and we never actually got angry. I just looked at him and was like, "whoa. what's with the asshole mood?" He shrugged. Whatever. At some point during these 2 weeks, I should miss him. :) I sound really evil, don't I? It's just that there has been no real hard core connection between us yet. And yes, it has occured to me that I'm probably trying too hard. So we'll see how I feel at the end of the two weeks. And I'm pretty sure I'm still putting up a big wall...so???? *faht*

I was sent home early today because my eye was swollen shut :) hahahahahahaha. I realized that I have apparently developed a weird allergy to my makeup. Which is weird considering that I've basically used a lot of the same stuff for years (not the ACTUAL same bottle). It started about a month ago, and it hasn't gone away. I went all weekend without makeup and my eyes cleared up. Then I went to the offices for work yesterday so I wore makeup. This morning, I woke up and my eye was crusted shut. Then I went to work and everyone freaked out when they saw my eye. So I went home. But the thing is, I put on a light layer of eye shadow to cover the purple that was my eye lid. Well...it crusted itself onto my eyelid, and ripped my skin off when I took it off. Ouch. So, it wasn't a good day for my eye :(

I did get into my new apartment again. I went and cleaned. It didn't take too long, but I just wanted to get some stuff done when all my shit wasn't in there. I actually don't have a lot of stuff. It's been the task of cleaning and throwing everything away that's taking so long. But I actually saw my carpet today, so there is hope. I want a magical fairy to come and clean and pack for me, but Xander is busy :) Too bad I'm so private and anal. I don't want anyone to see my shit. Especially since I've found a lot of personal stuff that I forgot I had. I can't have anyone help me. Same with unpacking. I need to do it all myself. It'll just be weird to not be able to walk back here everyday.

I'm a super sentimental person. So this week has been weird. I know I'm not moving far, but this city is separated by small blocks. I'm not far away, but it's a totally different neighborhood. Which sucks. I was sitting on my front steps tonight, and 3 different people walked by that I knew. I see people and talk to them, and it's awesome. It sounds really stupid, but this neighborhood is like a family, and it pisses me off that I have to move. Stupid leaving my comfort zone. :) I've had a lot of changes in a relatively short amount of time. New job with 2 different locations. Not working with my best friends anymore. Not working in my neighborhood (that will no longer be mine on Sunday). Going from being extremely single my whole life, to having to think about someone other than myself. Living with someone, to living alone. It's weird. And my other constants that I count on might be leaving soon too. Well...Blair WILL be leaving in September. Fuck that. He told me today that I'm hopeless. I told him he's a butt face. He agreed. I like change, but I hate it. I'm kind of excited, but I'm not really ready to leave yet. It all happened so quickly - and it wasn't my decision. So I didn't really have time to get excited about moving. Rar. We'll see. I just want my eye to go back to normal! Chris called to see if I looked better because he wanted to go to dinner. When I said no, he refused to go with me anyway, in fear that I would make him barf when he looked at me. Jackass. Now I know how that hunchback felt.

Current Mood: aggravated
Friday, December 1st, 2006
6:24 pm
Ok...add one more thing to the list of why 2006 sucks ass. Now it's my dad. He's been in the hospital all week. They're still not sure what's wrong with him, and today he'll finally be able to see a specialist. He's been on morhpine, so he's been a happy camper. It's my poor mom that I'm worried about. She doesn't have the luxury of drugs. She has to go home every night alone and sleep with the cat. But since my dad's such a snorer, it might actually be nice for her :) It just sucks. I'm not gonna say, "Gee! 2006 couldn't get any worse!" because that's just asking for the Big One to hit. But honestly, my poor family this year! I just need the clock to click over to 12:00 on the 1st, and hopefully, things will be magically better.

Ummm...I'm just wasting time until Christmas. I've been falling back into old habits that aren't good or me, so I'm trying to steer clear of that and get back on track. I went to work on 2 hours of sleep twice this week, and both times, my DM showed up. Of course :) I can't do that job on less that 6 hours of sleep. It's too much. And then I had to have a meeting with her on Tuesday to go over reports, and all the numbers were blurring together. It was not fun. Sleep is a glorious thing. It's weird though. This week has gone by so fast, but it seems so long! When you don't go to sleep, the days are almost like they never happened. And I'm cold when I sleep, so I want to keep moving. Yes...it's that time of year when my apartment is freezing. I'm lucky if the thermostat goes above 56 degrees. My roommate has been sleeping at her boyfriend's evey night this week. She's smart. I keep getting the invite to have a slumber party when I'm already in bed and asleep. Then I wake up and realize how cold I am and get pissed that they woke me up. But it's ridiculous. I've been sleeping in big ass pants, a sweatshirt and a scarf, and I'm still freezing. And I get a headache when I walk into a place that has heat because my body gets confused. It can't function normally :) But I invented something that rocks. An electric body pillow. Could you imagine?! It would keep you warm, and eliminate the emotional need for a boyfriend! I could make millions! Don't steal.

I have to get ready for work. Blah. Tonight should be awesome. I don't have a closer. So we'll see how interesting it should be. Last night a guy wanted to stab me. We were closed, but I saw this crazy homeless guy ripping open our garbage outside and throwing it. So I opened the door and said, "Sir, could you please not go through our garbage? We get fined when it's all over the sidewalk." Then I slowly started to close the door. I happened to notice that he walked away from the trash and I thought, "Wow, that was unusually easy," and then he lunged at the door with a knife. I locked it and just looked at him as he yelled something at me. But then he went back to the garbage, put the lid down and walked away. Still, unusually easy. But I was like, "Holy shit, that guy wanted to stab me." Just another night at the 'bucks. So I'm excited to see what happens tonight. I tried to get people from Polk Street to help me out, but they're all bastards. But I actually have the weekend off, so Yay! This weekend is the 3rd Annual Doran Girl's San Francisco Christmas. Deb always gets us tickets to a Christmas show. This year, I believe it's a drag queen christmas. Should be fun. Peace out.

Current Mood: cold
Sunday, November 26th, 2006
9:16 pm
Oh my god...best Thanksgiving ever! I usually don't like the holiday. I hate the decorating process, I hate the parade, and I hate that it's not Christmas Eve. But I figured out why this year...because Thanksgiving was never my tradition. I was stuck with lame Thanksgivings my whole life until this year when I (hopefully) started my own new ones. I woke up really early because I was stoked that it's now acceptable to play Christmas music in public. So I got up, went to Walgreens, got a kick ass 6 foot xmas tree, got some coffee, hung out on Polk Street for awhile and started to decorate. And the parade still sucked, but this year, Hall and Oats was on it, so it was bumped up to "awesome." Then I went and picked up Jenny and we went over to Deb's. From there, we trecked all the way out to the far-ass end of the Mission and went to Ms. Kate's house. There I ate actual Ballreits potato chips shipped out from Tiffin Ohio and was happier than anything. I then brought the house down with my dj skills and had people SCREAMING Journey and the Bee Gees. Sweet. Then at 6, Jenny and I took off, and I went over to Chris and McKenna's. So amazing. They had a ton of people over and had a real life Thanksgiving meal. There was even a toast made by Chris that almost made me cry. The secret tailor-fitted message in it was almost too much, but it was awesome. Then we all drank and were very merry. I even volunteered to do the mass amount of dishes with Chris, while everyone else left to go to the bars. I was so fucking happy. I didn't even cry when McKenna accidentally shoved a dead turkey's neck bone in my mouth. Fucker. Then at 1 am when I realized I had consumed a 6 pack of beer, Irish coffee, a bottle of wine, and someone had taken off with my coat, I decided it was finally time to call it a night. And walking home from Eddy and Gough on a fucking cold ass night wearing a sweatshirt with a picture of a slot machine on it that simply said, "I was robbed by a one arm bandit," I was never happier on a Thanksgiving than I was at that moment. You can't always be with your family on the holidays, but that's when you have hopefully made your own family that you can spend time with. Throughout the year, you fight with these people, make asses out of yourself in front of these people, and may even vow to never talk to them again. But since that basically defines a traditional family, it's a beautiful thing to be able to reconnect with them and realize that you love them and wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

I hope you all were fortunate enough to have a great Thanksgiving like I did, and I pray that your Christmas is even better!!!!!

Current Mood: grateful
Friday, November 10th, 2006
7:38 pm
Creepy alert. I live in a really nice neighborhood in a pretty nice building. But I guess that doesn't mean shit. My building got broken into, and it's kind of scary. My neighbors directly across the hall from me got a lot of stuff stolen (plasma tv, xbox, diamonds, computers...). You could tell someone crow-barred their way in because their lock was messed up and there were paint chips scattered all over the ground. There were paint chips outside my door too, which is creepy. Kelly and I figure they came into our place, looked around, felt no need for my tv that I got in the 8th grade, and left. So now the apartment building is all creeped out and the landlord is fixing our shitty front door - because apparently, you can open it with any key to any building. Awesome. And as sad as I am for my neighbors, I do feel a sense of relief that I don't have "all my stuff was stolen" to add to my list of why 2006 has been the worst year of my life!

Ok, holiday reset sucked ass. I got there at 2:30 to set up and was there until 12. Arg. And the kicker was that Mary Frances was going to bring pizza, so I didn't eat a thing all day, in hopes of devouring massive amounts of pizza. She never brought it. And I didn't get a break all day. I literally thought I might pass out. It was retarded. And she wanted me to stay longer than midnight to finish up! I put a guilt trip on her when "that's fine, I will...it's just that it's my friends birthday" popped out of my mouth. I don't know where it came from, but it worked :) So I went and met Blair and was like "Did you know that it's apparently your birthday?!" But I'm sorry...I couldn't lug any more red espresso machines into our lobby without food. She didn't get there until 7:00, so she wasn't as worn out as I was. I'm a little Starbucks-ed out. I closed Richard's store, and it was a weird deja vu experience. He scheduled me to work with Xander for a little bit, and it was crazy. I forgot what an obnoxious turd he is at work. At one point, I had him sitting on the pastry cart, and was pushing him around the store as he was screaming. Then we both stopped what we were doing and were like "Are we really working together again? And at Starbucks?" It was weird. And today is a good day because I'm off. So I got up, talked to my landlord, got an US Weekly and a bagel and chilled out on Polk Street. I was only there for an hour, but managed to giggle stupidly around Will, get propositioned by a horny Starbucks employee, get blown off by Chris, and get yelled at by McKenna because I never go over to he and Chris' apartment. Whenever I feel lonely and think that things suck, I should just walk down to that one block so I can remember that nothing has changed. But it was lovely to hear Chris say that no, he hasn't heard my horrible screech of a voice since last week when he invited me to the movies. Really nice. But I'll be hanging out with McKenna tonight. Hopefully at his place so I can scream my "horrible screech" of a voice into Chris' room. Fucker.

I'm cold...

Current Mood: cold
Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
6:52 pm
Hello livejournal :)

Ohmygod. It's the christmas season. Who's excited?! ME!!! And it's even better because I found that they have FINALLY after a decade of me searching every year, have finally re-released the Chipmunks Christmas album. You think I'm being stupid with how happy I am about this, but I'm not. I think the reason Christmas has been going down hill ever since my taped-from-record cassette tape wore out, is solely due to this. So thank you CD makers for finally making Christmas what it used to be :) And check this out - tomorrow from 3:30 until midnight, I'm doing the holiday set-up at work. Yah...I'm pretty excited :) Too bad tonight I was screwed into closing another one of the busiest stores in the city. It's right across from the Metreon and has old Polk Street hours. Booooo. And I have to close it with 2 other people who also don't work at the store. Who I've never met. Fun. And normally I'd be all like "Whatever. I can specifically not do things because I can claim to be ignorant of the way things work there." Too bad it's Richard's store. He requested me to close for him...probably because he knows I know how he likes things done. So no fuck-ups. In fact, I think I'll probably need to work harder than I normally do. Or else next time I see him, he'll put his bitch face on. And even though I love that face and think it's funny, I've never actually enjoyed it when it was directed to me.

I have had a HUGE shift in my attitude lately. I've gone from being incredibly mopey and sad, to being normal again. And this might sound dumb, but I actually feel a little harder. I guess that might happen when you've been hurt so badly and are determined to never put yourself through that again. But all the while, trying to re-build important relationships from the past. I think Halloween was the turning point for me. I proved to myself and someone else that (oh my god), life does go on without me by his side. And after weeks of not talking to each other (unless it was REALLY awkward or we were on the verge of screaming at each other) life got so much easier. It's funny because they say you only remember the good times. Which is partly true, and I'm glad it's true. Because honestly, who wants to be bitter the rest of their lives? But every time I thought of something good, a path was laid out in my mind that would lead directly to the bad again. And it didn't crush me like it had in the past, but it did a really good job of balancing me. Sort of like saying to myself, "Ok, you can be his friend, but be cautious because of this, this and this that he did to you in the past." But, we actually went to the movies together the other night and it went really well. I figured we needed to do an activity that required time together, but not necessarily a lot of time to talk. I knew that at this point, we'd still get awkward or angry. So a movie was perfect. We had the time beforehand and afterwards, but a large chunk of the time was spent in silence. And I actually focused on the movie, and not how close we were to each other or where his hands were :) But we laughed...HARD. Which I didn't know if we'd be able to get back to. At first it was forced, and even after the movie, it was a little forced. But there was this moment where I think we both forgot for a small second, what we had done to each other, and we were Chris and Erin again. We both openly admitted months ago, that we never thought we'd be able to laugh with each other again. And that really upset me. Because THAT'S what we were known for. When he lived here, my roommate always said it was cute, but slightly annoying because we were ALWAYS cracking up. We haven't really talked a whole lot since last Friday, but it's good. I really think we're taking this slow. The wounds are mostly healed, but everything is still so frickin' sensitive. But even though I'm still extremely cautious and a little cynical, I feel a huge sense of relief to know that we're not fighting. The two of us have a different reality now, and it will never again be a romantic one. Or even one of extreme closeness that we had before. But I'm really happy knowing that we can still know each other :)

In other news, holy shit. Blair is going to be famous. He FINALLY showed me his movie, and it was SO GOOD! I can't get over how amazing it is. I knew it would be good, but I had no idea. He was worried because he made it 3 years ago, so in all aspects, he's grown. And this snapshots every place they were 3 years ago. But if that was "shit," I can't imagine what even acceptable is! So look for him someday. But pay no attention to a movie called coffee shop. Just because there's a girl named Janet who's super bubbly and nice to everyone and loves cats so she writes a song called "Kitty Lips" and falls in love with a co-worker who wears tight pants but turns out to be gay - one should not be convinced that it is me. Because "Janet" takes a turn for the worst at the end when she reveals that she's a lesbian. No. Blair and I have had this talk before, and I just am not attracted to girls. So to prove his point about how "rad" it would be, he's making my character gay. What?!?! But I guess I'll let him do it if it means the world would finally be able to hear Kitty Lips. Seriously...I'm really excited for it.

Crap. I have to go bathe myself. I want to prove to Richard that I've grown since I last worked for him. Meaning I now understand the importance of not coming to work hungover and actually showering before I walk in. I'll shock and amaze him. Peace out.

Current Mood: content
Friday, October 13th, 2006
4:30 pm
Hello again :) Life sucks. teeeheee. But what's new? I have a horrible doctor's appointment today, my mom is flying in this afternoon, and my apartment is still trashed. Awesome. BUT...good news is, I like my new store and job. It's crazy how busy it is! I knew it would be, but jesus. All of us get physically ill at least once in a shift because we're running around non-stop. And your day is pretty much done once you're off, because you're too pooped to do anything. I think the key is to just never sit down. You can't pass out if you're moving :) But being downtown is a totally different world. But I needed that. Life has sucked SO bad lately, that I think being in my same place that I've been for the past 2 years, would kill me. But I did get up early today and went down to Polk Street and ate a yummy bagel that I have missed oh so very much. And I saw Will...my old boyfriend that never realized we were together :) So cute. Marriage is in our future. hahahahaha.

But yah...just kind of hanging out and trying to get through life. It's fun. I was correct with the assumption that there would be no more nights of no sleep followed by work. I've been very responsible, and it's kind of weird. I messed up one night, and thought I was going to die the next day. A manager at another store got hit by a car or something, so I went over to cover for him. And lucky me, I ran into Scaletti. It was good though. We went and got a drink after work. Which would have been fine, but it then turned into my drinking the night away with Blair. We ended up on Polk Street not understanding when to stop drinking. And I had to be at work the next day at 7. And it's a 30 minute fast walk to get there. I gave myself 10 minutes to get ready the next morning, and 25 minutes to get there. I was beautiful that day. I got home at around midnight the night before, and being as drunk as I was, showering didn't even occur to me. I couldn't find any clean pants to wear, so I had to wear the ones from the day before that someone had spilled beer on. And I forgot deodorant. Awesome. So old-erin popped up for a little bit at work, but hopefully no one noticed. And the most awesome part was that I passed my food safety certification, and I scored the most points in the personal hygiene section. hahahahahahaha. Nice. But the night with Blair was needed. We made plans to marry when we're 75. We're moving to the desert, getting so fat we can't move, and we'll be doing crazy drugs that we were always too afraid to try. Awesome. After learning a very important lesson (that those you think are there for you when you need them the most, are NOT) it's nice to know that sometimes, you find someone that you can trust and will be there right before you fall. Even though he thought it was funny that work was miserable for me the next morning. Ass.

Ugggggghhhhhhh. Bagel fills my belly too much. I want to hire a maid. Get a hot man-servant in here to clean up my shit. OR... I could stop being such a lazy ass and do it myself. Maybe I'll take out the trash. Or maybe not. Who knows.

Current Mood: lazy
Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
9:15 am
Yick. I don't have to be at work until 2:30 today, and I'm at a loss of what to do until then. My apartment is TRASHED, but cleaning sounds like zero fun. So I'll waste time here.

I finally got my new store for work. It's down town at 44 Montgomery. I'm actually freaking out about it. I'm really excited because it's what I wanted, but the store is retardedly busy. Here's a reference for you. The store I'm at right now is considered a pretty busy store. It qualifies for 2 assistant managers and a manager, meaning we do a lot of business. I looked at our transactions per half hour on your typical Saturday morning during our rush. We averaged 84 customers every 30 minutes. I was told by my new DM yesterday that my new store, on a daily basis, averages around 145 transaction every 30 minutes. Uhoh. It's located right above a BART station, a major bus line stop and is the first floor of a giant business building. Eeeeek. And I can no longer just go with it and run around, because now I'm in charge of that shit. I'm at a loss for why they chose me as their ASM over everyone else. They told me it's a high profile store and all the regional big shots know what goes on there all the time. Apparently, that's the store you shoot for to get promotions. And they popped me in there right away. I guess they think I'm capable. So I'm thinking that the days of me skirting by on 1 hour of sleep and rolling into work hungover as hell and braindead, are over. Sad really. And I'm still a little concerned about how exactly I'm gonna get there at 3 am. Market Street is a big no no at that time of the morning. Especially by foot. But I'll worry about that when the time comes. Maybe I'll get hazard pay :) But I'm excited! A new district, a new set of managers...it should be interesting. But the good news is, one thing will be like old times...Richard is in my district. Maybe that's good news :) Whenever we have district manager meetings, we can hang out. I'm glad to be getting out of my old district though. But I must say, I really miss Polk Street. I thought I wanted out of there, but it turns out, I didn't. I've had a month to semi ween myself away from it, but it's not really working. I've been leaving for Union Street early everyday, and each day, I get there just in time because I can't get through Polk Street without stopping 80 times. I have so many boyfriends there, that I HAVE to stop and talk :) My favorite is walking to work in the morning, and being mauled by boys in tight pants. It's a glorious way to start the day. Now my morning will start with assholes in suits with cellphones permanently glued to their ear barking out orders for 4 tall cappuccinos. But one wet, one semi-dry, one bone-dry and one half-calf. Ahhhhhhhhh. I'm just gonna have to learn to control my anger better I guess. I am glad that I was able to pass along the, bitches-get-decaf rule at Union Street. This guy had never thought of that before! I thought it was the number one rule in coffee shops. He was amazed by this trick and I think I earned a lot of respect because of it. I have a shitload of other things to teach him tonight if he wants. These things need to be passed down!

Hmmmm...it's sunny. Maybe I'll go sit on my roof for a tad. Some me-time before I have to be stuck at Union Street until 11 tonight. I learn my new store hours today, so fingers crossed for Monday through Friday, 5-7 or something. But I bet it's a 7 day store where you close early, but have to be there at 3. Whatever...I'm totes excited ;)

Current Mood: bored
Sunday, September 17th, 2006
11:04 am
Well...after a long chunk of time, I am finally happy again. I actually smiled a genuine smile the other day. And it was at work no less! It finally hit me that I made the right choice to go back to Starbucks, and I've made other good choices too. Again, hindsight always proves that my ideas are dumb, but I guess you have to deal with the consequences of them so you can grow up and become a better person because of it. You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? That's fine. Maybe we'll discuss it sometime down the road when I've become 100% comfortable with the outcome of everything. :)

So apparently, he's in love with me. What a load of bullshit. He's not...trust me. Anyone who emotionally cries out those words, but then follows them with, "But, I'm not ready to be in a relationship," is a lying douche bag. Unfortunately, even though I know this to be true, I can't seem to not love him back. You'd think after a full year of such dramatic emotional problems that we have, we'd either get over it, or do something about it. I feel like I HAVE to explode soon. An ultimatum seems fun. But then again, that could go horribly wrong, and then where would that put me? (in case you're wondering, the answer to that is in my room alone, with all the shades pulled, crying and listening to the Smiths for a good month). But instead, we opt to cuddle in silence and read US Weekly to each other. It's so nice when it's happening. I'm pretty sure I never want to give that up. But that probably means being in a not-relationship, relationship with him for the rest of eternity. Hmmmm...I have some thinking to do.

It's GORGEOUS outside today and I'm sitting inside on the computer! What am I doing?! Oh yah...Kelly and I finally entered the present, and now have high speed internet. I'm completely amazed by it, and am just trying to find websites to go to. But...rainy season is just around the corner, so I'm gonna go soak up the beauty why I still fucking can. Adios bitches.

Current Mood: happy
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
3:17 pm
You have to have bad days to remind you that everyday life isn't always so bad. I had to open today (shocking, it's that way till I leave, 'cos there are only 2 supervisors) with Wayne, and I almost killed him before 5:30 am. He literally does nothing. We were understaffed, and 2 of the people that were working are extremely slow and have no sense of urgency over anything. I was in charge, therefore, my breaks were barely taken care of. I was running around doing EVERYTHING and was just thinking "1 more week, and you'll be done. You can do this." So then around 9:15, McKenna came in and told me he'd hang around until my lunch. 10 minutes later, I busted out the door to have a relaxing lunch with Mr. Cute Face. We were hanging out, watching this tiny little Yorkie in a pink halter and pink bow, hang out on the sidewalk in front of us. Then a really cool regular customer, Annie, came out to say hi and pet said dog. It being a small shaky dog, it kind of freaked out over the attention, and did the cutest little back circle off the sidewalk and into the parking lane. Then it started to tug at it's halter, and all of a sudden was out of it, and took one look at us, and bolted. I jumped up, McKenna jumped up, and the 2 of us and Annie sprinted after it. She took off towards the insanely busy Broadway Road, and I cringed. I saw her somehow bolt through cars and make it through to the other side. Then I saw her mom come out of Peet's and start screaming the name Zoe. So I asked if it was her dog, and she freaked out and said yes. So we took off after them and were a full 2 blocks behind. Then we stopped and I tried to calm this girl. She said she had just moved here and Zoe was here everything. I told her she'd be fine, that McKenna was a fast dude, and would catch her. So we tried to find them, I called, and had no luck. So this woman, Megan, gave me her number and I told her I'd post a sign in Peet's for a missing dog, and I'd call if I heard anything. So I headed back to grab Zoe's halter, and look for McKenna and Annie. I finally found McKenna and he had tears in his eyes. Zoe had been hit by a car. Apparently (don't read if squirmish) she'd been hit in the head, and her jaw was hanging off, and she was gone. I thank the lord that I didn't have to see that. But then I had to call Megan and tell her what happened. I luckily got her voicemail. I told her I didn't know if she had made it or not because there was no way I could tell her that in a voicemail. Then I gave her the number of the animal hospital where a really nice woman in a car had taken her. Horrible. Then I had to go back to work. Apparently at some point, McKenna came back in and just sat down in the corner and was staring off into space. We were super crowded, but who cared at that point. So I went and sat with McKenna and tried to make him feel better. I guess at one point, he actually had Zoe by the legs, but she had gotten away from him. And as he was walking back to me, some jackass in a car fucking hit McKenna! Luckily he just bumped him. But jesus people! Watch where you're going. The person who hit Zoe just kept going. Awful. Zoe was tiny, but you KNOW when you hit something. Disgusting. Then Annie came back in with her face all red and swollen and couldn't stop crying. She was unfortunate enough to see the whole thing too. Then the woman who stopped and took Zoe to the pet hospital came in to make sure we were alright. So shitty. I can't stop thinking about poor Megan and how she just moved here, and her baby died in front of her. Horrible.

And then the day just kept getting better. Wayne fucked over the wrong customer, so I had to sit on the phone with her and hear her bitch about him. Then she sent her son in to deal with us, and that sucked. Then Carter went on vacation and left the store with 2 supervisors and no manager for a week. Awesome. I always have Sundays off, so I didn't think to request this Sunday off. There are 2 huge parties, one is a birthday party that I HAVE to go to, and Carter has me opening on Sunday. No. Fuck you Carter. Then I realized, I have tomorrow off, and it's my last day off until I leave. 7 days in a row OF OPENING. Again, Fuck you! How horrible. Getting up at 3:45, 7 days in a row is going to put me in a worse mood than I am already. Mother fucker. Then he left me a note asking me to do the coffee order. Because we had so much time for that. I, needless to say, did not get out on time today. And such a lovely day to have to be stuck in that hellhole for longer than 8 hours. Whatever. And then I saw Meredith, and she came up to me and said "Oh Erin! I have a gift for you! I saw it and it reminded me of you." And she pulled out this expensive bottle of nailpolish. McKenna and I were sitting on the sidewalk smoking, in tears and looking really upset. And then she walked up. I'm not pretending to like her anymore. That plan was dumb. She annoys the shit out of me, and people just need to be fine with that. I don't have to like everyone, and I'm starting with her.

So that was my day. Shitty. And it's gloomy outside, which makes everything even better. It's looking like a wine, fire and couch night. Which is fine by me. It was supposed to be a night of partying since I don't have to work tomorrow, but I'm sort of in the dumps. Obviously. But not as bad as Megan or McKenna. Poor guy...he looked miserable enough to kill himself. Though I did tell everyone at work that I orchestrated the whole event just so I'd have a chance to hold him :) Once McKenna left, Zoe came out of the backroom and collected her pay from me. If only, huh?

To the wine!

Current Mood: depressed
Monday, August 14th, 2006
11:01 am
Where have I been, and what have I been doing? Hmmm...well, I had my interview at Starbucks, and nailed it. It was supposed to be almost 2 hours long, and it maybe took 20 minutes. The interviewer actually closed the book and said, "This is stupid, you know all this, I'm not asking you." And then we discussed my polk-a-dot earrings and they shook my hand and said welcome back. So after my background check went through, they officially offered me the position, and the clouds were lifted. I put in my 2 weeks on Saturday. It was beeeeeeautiful. Carter just kind of sat there and I went through my list of why I'm leaving. He said he's writing the DM and she'll probably want to talk to me. Good. I REALLY want to talk to her. She needs to hear all of this. But apparently, she's been told all of this multiple times before, and it's never sunk in. But it'll make me feel better. I start at Union Street on the 28th and am a little nervous. It's a huge store with a shitload of business (which I haven't had to deal with for 5 months) and I'll actually have to do things again. I'm only training there and then I'll get my very own store, which is good. My friend Steve used to work there after he left Polk St, and he said get out as soon as possible. But whatever. I just need to remember what I've had to deal with for the past 5 months, and I should be ok. :) fucking Peets. But I'm happy again. Even though I can't possibly imagine getting through 2 more weeks of that place. Luckily, Carter is going on vacation on Wednesday, so I won't have to deal with him for a week. Yay.

What else? Nothing really. Chris moved in, and it's been lots 'o fun. It's been a non-stop bff fest. AND...he cleans. Kelly and I haven't had to cook, take out the garbage or do dishes since he moved in. We're screwed once he leaves! It's weird though...I don't know. No emotions, right? At least that's what I yelled the other night. But I have to admit, knowing he spent the night at Meredith's is leaving me with an uneasy feeling. Why? I don't know, because, no emotions. You can't have everything right?

So I have today off. Yay. Saturday I went out and celebrated my ass off. I didn't crawl into bed until 5ish, and then Deb woke my ass up at 10:30 to tell me we were going to lunch. And I was starving, so I somehow got up and went to meet her. And I'm so glad I did. She got me this kickass shirt that is bright green with a rainbow and a cloud. And in the cloud, it simply says, "Just a small town girl. Living in a lonely world..." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I feel like it was made for me! I think the only way a shirt could be any better, is if it would say "I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said." But no...actually, mine is the best. But afterwards, I saw Bender and Michele on Sutter and thank god I did. I thought I had to open today, but I didn't! I would have been so pissed if I would have gotten up at 4 this morning for nothing. I get to do that the rest of this week. *blarg* So I slept for 11 hours! I needed it, and it was awesome. But now I won't be able to sleep tonight probably. Oh well. Fuck Peet's :) I must say though, the opening/closing shifts at Peet's is 4:45/7:45. The Starbucks I'm going to is 4:15/10:45 during the week, and 4:45/11:45 on the weekends. Fuck that. My hope is that I get transferred to a store in the financial district. A lot of them are Monday through Friday and close around 7 during the week. I think you have to be there around 3 am when you open, and it's a non-stop hell of douche bags on cell phones all fucking day, but whatever. You get it over with. So fingers crossed on that. Steve fucking lucked out. He started at Polk Street, had Chris as his learning coach, transferred to Union Street as a shift, and somehow got sent back to Polk Street as the ASM. Fucker. But whatever...no emotions, right? Oh wait...no...wrong problem. I meant, Fuck Peet's.

Ok...off to Filmore to the Benefit Boutique. I NEED their moisturizer or my face will fall off, and I was informed yesterday that they stopped making it for awhile so they can re-formulate it. What?! No! So I'm going to the actual store to see if they have any backstock. I might cry. Wouldn't that be funny if that made me have a breakdown? I'd be like, "I'm so sorry! It's just that...no emotions...I mean, dry skin, I mean, FUCK PEETS! Arghghghgh!" ahhhhh...life.

Current Mood: I have no emotions
Saturday, July 29th, 2006
11:59 pm
I sort of semi remember a time in my life when I used to sleep. If I had to be at work at 5 am the next morning, I would go, "Gee, it would be a good idea to go to bed now, so I can properly do my job tomorrow." But apparently, now, my mindset is more of, "Why go to bed if I have to be at work at 5? That's stupid." I thoroughly enjoy having my muscles physically ache because they lack any sort of rest they need. Not being able to open a box of soy milk because it's screwed on too tight, is fun. And not embarrassing at all. Whatever. Maybe if I cared one iota about my job, then it'd be different. But I don't, so until I put in my 2 weeks, this girl wants to party all the time. Party all the time. Party all the tiiiime.

Yesterday was fun. I went to work and at 2, Susie came in prepared with shitloads of information for me to help me prep for my interview on Tuesday. It took 2 and a half hours to go through. Arg! And I still have a huge success profile to look through. I want to do really well, so I'm actually taking it seriously. The best though was when Susie and I were eating at a table outside going over all this Starbucks stuff, and my manager and DM walked by. Luckily I saw them coming and had a minor freak out, and we were able to hide all of the green colored evidence. Arg. I want to just put in my 2 weeks and get it over with. I told this girl Michele at work today that I was probably leaving, and she was so excited for me. She's out in 2 weeks also, and she made me feel good because she said they would really regret losing me. Yay :) But after the torturous day long study session, Susie and Chris came over to be lazy with me at home. And then I remembered that it was Rob's birthday, so I conned Chris into coming with me to some Cigar bar in the Embarcaderro. FUN! But cigars are totally stupid...and expensive. But I'm totally stupid too because after 3 martinis topped off with the 2 beers I had earlier, I thought it'd be a good idea to bring Chris back home with me, so we could both not go to sleep, and both open at our respective coffee shops this morning. *ugh* At 12:30, I promptly came home, ate a lot of hummus, and then passed out for 2 hours. My phone was beside my ear the whole time, and I missed 2 calls. Lovely.

But even though I'm fucking exhausted, I managed to go see "Scoop." I love Woody Allen, even though is mannerisms, accent and every word that comes out of his mouth is Tim Doyle, I only cringed a few times, and thoroughly enjoyed the movie. I went with Blair, and can I just say, even though I had cursed him out and written him out of my life 15 minutes prior since he was late to pick me up, I retracted the evil song I wrote about him, and had a great time. He has a way to take all the bad out of my world for a moment and make everything ok. I don't know how he got stuck with being the person in my life who gets to bring the glue and piece me back together everytime I make a mistake, but he did, and he's really good at it. So I guess I'll keep him around for awhile :)

But god, tomorrow I have to go get a spare set of keys made for Chris. Somehow, he's moving all of his shit into my place and crashing here until he finds a place of his own. Perhaps a big mistake? But maybe not. His payment is to cook for me whenever I get hungry and to rub my back and feet until I say to stop. And I completely intend to wear my stinkiest man made material ballet flats all day, and THEN have him rub my feet. Hopefully I can generate some killer toe jelly too :)

Oh god...after midnight. I can't even function right now. Glorious bed. How I love thee.

Current Mood: exhausted
Monday, July 24th, 2006
4:54 am
Insomnia sucks. Why can't I ever be naturally awake for when I have to be at work at 4:45? On my day off, 4:15 rolls around and I'm wide awake. Lame. And I couldn't fall asleep last night either until around 12. Rar. I think my mind is just filled with so much stuff, that I can't get it to stop when I should be sleeping. Everyone at Peet's is asking me if I'm leaving soon. Hmmm....could it be Sue opening her big mouth at work? Or my drunken ramble last week about how much I hate Peet's? I don't know. But I do know I have a headache. Maybe it's the weather. I've been sleeping with my windows wide open (yes, please come an steal all my belongings and then kill me) and still sweating. It's gross. I love how my apartment building is -50 in the winter, and 100 in the summer. We've got really good insulation. And that's why today will be spent on the coast by the water.

Hmmmm...I thought that I had a lot to write. But apparently not. I can't really do more than brew coffee at this time in the morning. There's a weird feeling in the air today. I love how just the smell of it brings back weird memories. It kind of feels like the first day of school in Ohio to me. Last night, it smelled like last summer at this time which has thrown me back. It's funny how everything is so different from last year, yet nothing has really changed. I am a completely different person, yet not at all. It's funny too because Rob asked me to house sit for him again this year. Talk about smells throwing you back. The smell of his apartment makes my stomach clench and then I freak out. So it'll be weird staying there for 2 weeks. But lovely since he has 8 million cable channels. vH1 party at Rob's!

Ok, I'm really not making any sense and just rambling. Maybe I'll try to fall back asleep? That sounds like a plan. And seriously, on my days off, a certain douche bag always calls me for my 5 am wake up call, and there wasn't one this morning. The one time I'm awake and could actually form a coherent sentence. Not fair. Whatever. Off to find something to do.....

Current Mood: awake
Friday, July 21st, 2006
3:48 pm
Oh my god...it's amazing how a job prospect can change your attitude. Wednesday I went to work and was offered the assistant manager position at my store. I accepted, full out knowing that I'm not gonna stick around for it. Then an hour later, the new manager at my old Starbucks came in and said that I needed to set up an interview with Starbucks. So yesterday I called them and talked to the recruiter. I started to go through my whole story and she told me to stop, that she knew everything. She was all, "I've talked to Traci, Susie, Austin and Richard. Going on what they say about you, I made the decision to not do the first interview, and put you into the final interview for assistant." Sweet! So now I have an interview with some guy named Scott on August first. Yay! God, even talking to the partners there made me happy. They're so much nicer than anyone at Peets! So, if for some reason I bomb that interview, I can still go back as a shift, start my PDP, and re-interview for the position in a couple of months. Thank the lord! Work has still sucked my balls, but just knowing that I won't have to put up with their back-stabbing archaic ways much longer, makes it more bearable. So I have 2 interviews. One with Starbucks and one with Peet's. Teehee. I'm hoping I have the Peet's one first, so I can use it as practice for the real one. But the thing that cracked me up about Peet's was Carter was all, "I know you'd do amazing at this store, and I know you want to stick around." hahahahahahah. Yup :)

So today I went on a shopping spree. I have a headache from spending the $, but I needed some nice pants and stuff. Apparently, I also needed hair dye, a wallet, Steve Madden shoes, a cool headband (yes, it's polk a dotted...), a curling iron, underwear and new lipstick. Hmmm. Whatever. But jesus, it's hot here. My favorite is when you're standing there, and you realize that your knees are sweating. It's a good feeling. But I'm so excited. I wish that the interview were sooner. I NEED to get the hell out of Peets. But it's funny how life changes when something like this happens. I'm smiling again, not bitching at everything, and not feeling the need to do horrible things to my body just so I can have a good time. I feel bad though - 2 of my really good friends are in really bad places because of jobs and such, and I'm not telling them all my good news because it SUCKS when you're in that position and someone else is all, "Oh my god! Yay life!" Chris is one of them, and it's actually been depressing to talk to him. I mean, we'll talk for 30 minutes, and there will only be one gross comment about my boobs. That's just not like him! :) But he can go to hell because he called me at 5 this morning on my day off to say hi. Fuck that. But god! I actually see a light at the end of the tunnel! I know Starbucks is still going to suck, because it's a job, and I'm still having to deal with the public non-stop, but all I have to do is think about Peet's, and I think I'll be able to stop feeling so bad about it. I saw Richard today downtown, and he was going back to his new store and was shouting, "Please come visit me!!!" That would be hilarious if I got stuck with him as my manager again. I'd actually like that...just as long as he didn't accuse me of being on drugs again. But I'd definitely work under him again.

I need to shower. It's fucking too hot to do anything here. And where did the ocean breeze go?! My sweaty knees would like to know...

Current Mood: hot
Sunday, July 16th, 2006
6:07 pm
Jesus, I'm cracked out. I opened yesterday at Peet's, came home and slept for an hour. Then I got ready for Space. I showed up around 9:45, and no one was there. So Chris and I hung out for awhile and we decided that he's going to be my gay husband. It makes sense I 'spose. Then everyone else showed up, and it was fun. And Blair was across the street at another bar, so I hopped on over there. It was hilarious. He had this friend from work that he was there with who was like, "You're amazing. You're so special." hahahahaha. Oh gay men...I love them so. So I hung out there for awhile and then went back to Space to say goodbye to everyone and grab McKenna. Then we went back to Space, where these guys stopped Blair and I and were all, "It's in the stars. You two are supposed to have babies." To which we replied, "We have 3 already."

Then Blair came back home with me and we talked all night. The shitty thing was, I had to be across the city this morning at 7 for the AIDS walk. I told Susie I'd be at her place at 6:45. Blair and I emerged out of our fog at 6:44. Oops. So I literally bolted out of the apt and jumped in a cab. But we were fine. The walk ended up being fun. EVERYONE was like, "When are you coming back?" And at one point, this group of people I don't even know were like, "Is Erin back?! When did she come back?" hahahahaha. Weird. But then I finally talked to my old DM who asked me to report back to work on Monday morning. To which I said, "Yah, about that." So I'm going back. I have to call Traci this week to set up an appointment with the recruiter and then I get to go through all that. But the relief I feel is beautiful. Both companies are going to dick me around and make me do ASM and SM no matter what. So I might as well do it with the company I don't have extreme contempt for. I just really wish I wouldn't have taken 4 months out of it all. Now I'm back to where I was before and if I would have stayed, I would already be an ASM. But, maybe I needed this for the next time I get pissed off at Starbucks. I can look back and think, "Well, at least I'm not at Peet's." And I can finally go back to calling them tall, grande and venti's and not small, medium and large. Where the fuck did Peet's get their sizing ;) I just feel hopeless and bitter when I think about Peet's, and happy when I think about Starbucks. And if you go back within the year, all your stuff is reinstated, so it's like I never left. I seriously cannot fucking wait to run in the back room at Peet's and be like "BYE BITCHES!"

Dammit. Blair and I were going to go to the movies, but I slept through his first call, and when I called him back, he didn't answer. Meaning he's passed out. That's probably for the best. I'd probably pass out in the theatre and drool all over him. Which would be good, but whatever. I just feel cracked out. And I WALKED from gg park, to California and Filmore (for you non-sf'ers, that's a fucking long ass walk) with seeping blisters on my heels. Ow. But then I ate humus, and it was made all better. Oh! And Hal Sparks was there again this year. Awwww...so cute :) He's my boyfriend...
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